My firstborn turned TEN today. I have been a mother for TEN YEARS. And because my kids are 5 years apart, even though I only have 2 kids, I have been the mother of a child under 5 for almost 10 years. So weird.
I actually pulled out Macy's baby books today and teared up a little! I feel like I barely remember that baby. Dude, how am I going to feel when I'm actually old?!?! As much time as I spend on processing my traumas from the past, I don't live in a space of "the good 'ole days." I try to maintain a healthy appreciation for the past, while not overselling it like it was perfect. I know it wasn't. It was hard then and it's hard now and it'll be hard in the future. The same can be said for all those seasons being awesome in some way too. We never really arrive. We just have to make the most of each season.
I think of life more in the framework of seasons and the season of being a working-at-home mom of a little person will come to and end this fall. Crazy, since as I just shouted from the rooftops, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR TEN YEARS! It'll be interesting to see myself transition out of this phase. It has been meaningful, hard, sometimes tedious, slow, sweet, precious and exhausting. I am so grateful to have had the privilege of flexible time all these years. It's a true gift and I try not to take it lightly. I know it's a big deal and as all the guilt-trippers tell you, "you'll never get that time back!" I know, I know.
I intend to continue to work my Shaklee business and maybe take on new things as well. I'm excited about a season of personal development on a different level than mothering littles ones has provided. This time has provided tons of opportunities for growth yet I know with kids at school all day, new things will emerge for me coming soon. I'm curious about what is to come.
I know what has been has been beautiful. So many laughs and tears and growth. It's amazing how a little human comes out of your body and if you just keep feeding them, they go from tiny baby to full-on kid. I've learned a lot being a mom for 10 years. Most of all, I've learned that I'm vulnerable as hell because of it and I have to give myself and my children grace and support in that reality. I have to say, being Macy and Penny's mom has been one of the greatest privileges of my life. And I can't believe I've been living that gift for 10 years today.
Happy birthday, my love.